i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
