exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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