his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
