You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
