Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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