whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
