Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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