the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
