At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
