You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize