I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
