I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
