I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
