I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
