i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize