I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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