The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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