5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
