Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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