Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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