Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
