i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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