Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
