HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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