im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
