I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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