Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's the barista slut.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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