he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
