planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
