I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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