A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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