the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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