was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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