1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize