I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
