no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
