Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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