Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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