That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
