You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
