I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
