And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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