Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
