I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
