A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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