Jerry, you need to find god
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
