Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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