i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
