FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
