I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
