you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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