I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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