i jhust puked up my retainher.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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