what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
