even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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