My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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