at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
