I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my shit smells like andre
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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